Intuition or Paranoia?

I think that, as a woman, we often question ourselves as to how blurred the edges are due to contributing factors such as hormones, sleep deprivation, family problems and other things that could affect our well-being and mental health. But, I would like to know what people mean when they talk about a woman’s intuition? Do women have better intuition than men? Because the way I see it, women think way too much which results in confusing and often irrational ideas.

My friend had a relationship with this man who came across as an honest and good person, a little quiet, though very polite and open. One night after they had had sex and were falling asleep, she had a sudden sense that something was amiss. She said it was a feeling that was out of the blue and rocked her core. I never heard her once say anything negative about him. She always said that he was open and honest with her. She did the outrageous and the inexcusable, she checked  his phone while he was sleeping. Now, I know what most of you will be thinking, that there ended up being no substance to her feeling, and that her behaviour was a teeny bit obsessive. But I assure you it ended up being vital that she did or else she wouldn’t have found out about the handful of women he was dating behind her back.

I have had these bouts of ‘intuition’ where I have felt that my partner is hiding something from me. It is an awful thing to go through and I always wonder what is wrong with me as it makes me feel insecure and paranoid. When I get like this I have to ask myself whether my thoughts are plausible. I work through every reason, every effect and every God damn excuse as to why I shouldn’t be feeling this way. It is consuming and, quite frankly, quite depressing. I do think that people should learn not to jump to conclusions and to certainly not accuse or throw out the question of, ‘Are you seeing someone else?’ Because there are two inevitable consequences from asking this which are:

1. They will blatantly lie to you and say they aren't seeing anyone else. 

Or

2. They will get angry and make you feel like the smallest person on the planet.

I wonder if this stems from being cheated on in the past? There was one incident where I had this type of ‘intuition’ long before the missed phone calls, the vague mentions of his whereabouts, the lack of eye contact, the one-sided conversations during dinners out and the overall lack of effort for which I blamed on the length of the relationship, that only being 6 months. What was I thinking? The last straw was when he stood me up after stating he was with his family and too drunk to drive. Imagine me, beautiful make up, hair done and dressed to kill. Killed that relationship. Lucky I had that intuition, that sneaking suspicion, or else I would have been a mess. Expect the unexpected, I say. 

I don’t want to sound like a pessimistic feminist but I will maintain one thing. Trust your gut and, even if you don’t do anything about it, store the memory because the truth will come out in the end.